Monday, October 29, 2018

tying knots along green cord - here i am thought of by you

A warm day seated on wood stump outside, my fingers tease a green cord through a knotted loop.

His fingers loosen   tighten   strings,  his composition of me.

The joy of dangling   swaying   shining   making Him smile.


his delight, a yellow triangle


circles in circles with a red line


Tuesday, August 7, 2018

in her palace - summer 2018

The day comes... My great nephew wants to show his sister Uncle Karl's tree fort.

There are too many leaves for the boy. So he walks all the way around to the backside, where the entering is easier.

His sister Bri finds the camouflaged entrance and boldly walks in, moving the leaves out of her face as she walks. Down the slope to its interior. Way to go, girl!!

 A stump becomes a table. She arranges the flowers she has picked. Choice sticks. She is in her palace, she tells me.

The boy figures out the ladder. Tad climbs up -- strong arms and legs -- up -- high -- to the high loft.

His blonde head appears, eyes peering down at me -- from side platform up high.
I coax him to stand and hold on to the trunk. No, not this time. He is up where I wish I could be. I am happy that he is delighted.

He goes up and down -- eventually three times. Way to go, Tad!

 Surrounded by leaves, she stands on the low loft.

Bri makes a shelf -- she sets a piece of wood with a bent nail -- to make a place to hang her coat. She is in her zone, in her palace.

Tad sets to repair a broken support for this walkway. He figures it out himself. Yes! Done!

Bri wants to come back again.

 My joy is complete. Both Bri and Tad enjoy the tree fort.

= = = =

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

everything -- after vermont

             At the nurse station I finished telling the charge nurse Ronda about the yellow cars on my trip. She nodded her head in agreement. "Your stories give me chills," she said. She proceeded to tell me about the blue huron. She once had just made a difficult decision and the Lord sent her a visible confirmation. As soon as she saw it she knew that the Lord was present and that she was loved by Him. "The Lord sent a royal blue giant beautiful heron by me. It flew passed as I was driving home. It was majestic."

            It was 12 days after the Vermont conference. Jan and I got home Monday afternoon. Our 3,600 mile road trip completed. Two cats were relieved to see us.  The cat sitter has been told her job was finished.
   It was a godsend that Jan had swollen red feet. It got you to the Doctor's office.                              Ronda Minor

         Shawn Scott, the nurse attendant, updated the gal who was next in line to take over his duties. "Everything is new," he said as he looked over the chart in his hands. "That would be the title of this story," said Jan as she lay in her hospital bed. Following Wednesday's tests, Jan was admitted to the hospital overnight. The staff worked to lower her blood pressure. I camped out in her room, sleeping on the sofa.  Thursday morning I jotted this down:

        Your words come as I drive from the hospital to our house this morning. "Behold I make all things new."  Jan and I are back from seventeen day trip. Monday afternoon. 
        On Tuesday we drove to Liberty to eat at the Fish Market - Asian shrimp sandwich - and Sprouts and - later - that night Jan has 101.9 degree fever. Her ankles and top of feet are red splotched - dark and swollen. I became concerned.   
       On Wed. the Nurse Practitioner said: "All kinds of tests. You stay around. Won't release Jan until there is a plan in place!!"
       Her blood pressure was high. 280.
       Blood work came back. Metabolic was good. Chest + heart fine. Jan put in Room 113. It seemed to be our new motel room. Ha.
       Last night read 144. Regulating her blood pressure. A tiny medicine patch on her back shoulder. 

I was reorganizing motel slips from the trip     when I noticed THIS. The last motel room on our trip was #113. The room Jan is in at the hospital is #113. I noticed the words: EXPRESS CHECK-OUT. The phrase: "Thanks for checking us out"  is usually what you say when you leave.  Does this mean Jan will get out soon?  I glue it in my journal and this page becomes a WORD of HOPE.

        Lord  --- in this  --  You are in THIS !!!!

       On Thursday, in addition to hourly monitoring her blood pressure the Wound Clinic team came by. A blister formed where the butt check joins the leg. Irritated by bunched clothing on trip - pressure - and sitting on it. Last day of trip.  
       The team scraped a sample of tissue to test it. They also are treating a cat scratch on the front of her left leg.
       My sister-in-law texted words that still challenge me to pay attention -- saying: "You can help her with the emotional side of wound treatment. God will use what you learned."
       She referred to my year long about with chronic ankle wounds in 2016. My weekly appointments at the Carrollton Wound Clinic. My healing complete. Wound free, two years on.
       My sister-in-law won't let it go -- adding: "You understand the emotional journey. Empathy has its own healing power." 
       I add her wisdom to a full page in the journal.

Friday morning, June 15th, Jan and I sat in the sunshine. Our glasses off, bare feet grounded, fifteen minutes of sunshine, portals in our skin absorbing free vitamins. Being out there was OUR THING.  IT WAS US.

Afterward I wheeled Jan back to her room. Saturday we return home.

Our CURRENT routine revolves around wound treatment appointments. Jan walks herself. We are mindful of our legs. Long trips are out of the question.     

           The Vermont trip is over but not our journey.  In our village yellow cars pop up in and out of my day. He reminds me He is HERE in THIS. Our new routine of doctor appointments, taking daytime naps, open to tears, listening to His words, being in His care. Saying YES to   "what He is brewing in US."

Sunday, July 22, 2018

five gee -- vermont trip

Lake Champlain, charcoal, 7 1/2 x 10 inches, by artist. June 2, 2018. 
Double click to enlarge.

Rock Face on Lake Champlain, 7 1/2 x 10 inches, graphite and watercolor pencils, by artist.
Double click to enlarge.
        The Nourish Vermont experience took some processing. Six days later Jan and I had gone through the states of Massachusetts and Connecticut. In the village of Mount Kisco, New York we chatted at a diner with the Total Eclipse couple we met at the Carrollton City Pool, the ones from Chappaqua. The husband told me about motor boats.  Later that day, Jan and I drove along the Hudson River to the village of Fishkill, New York. 
That morning as I looked back and wrote down what I had learned, a mess happened and made me stop  -  and think.

       Issue of motor boats: The husband told me story of the man-made lakes at Quabbin Reservoir (south of Orange, Massachusetts) People in charge decided to flood the region to create the large lake. That meant the former towns were at the bottom of the huge lake. Then the people in charge said you could not use your own boat on the water. You had to rent one. You had to rent one of their boats. A boat with an outboard motor on it. The husband complained about that decision, because the motor boat would pollute the lake water that others drank from. The reservoir provided the drinking water for the towns. In his estimation it made no sense to spoil the drinking water that everyone used. 

      One concern raised at the Nourish conference was the increase of radiation coming into neighborhoods. Metal boxes are showing up in neighborhoods to boost electronic signals. Apparatus in clusters on rooftops. Cellphones next to our heads exposes us to radiation. Cars with the latest technology become "hot spots." Too much exposure is a poison. Brain functions are affected. It messes with our thinking process. You can lose your focus, feel dizzy or dazed, tired all the time, have a hard time sleeping. The concern rises with children and adults who are plugged in every minute of the day. There are sicknesses the doctors flat out disregard.  First it was 3G (third generation technology), now some cities are introducing 5G. Cell towers are closer together and to what end? Where is public safety? Where is the testing on humans concerning this malaise? Why should an industry be able to make decisions for cities that affect everybody?

     Personal choices can limit your exposure. 
= My wife and I already shut off the breaker switch to our bedroom each night to limit the signals coming in. 
= We set our cellphones on "Flight Mode" before we go to sleep or when we are not using them. 
= Talking over the speakerphone moves the source away from your head and your brain. 
= We shut off the Blu-Tooth mode in our car. 
= Some people answer texts at the end of the day. 
= Some limit cell phone usage to nine minutes a day.
= You can unplug your Wi-Fi router when not in use. Unplug your computer.
Signals keep coming in to your house until you shut it off.   
I learned this from the presenter Nick Pineault of Montreal Canada

     Nourish Vermont speakers raised other public health warnings, such as the chemicals some farms used on their crops. Again, the practice of one group affects the health of the many. If I do something for myself that is one thing. If I do something that affects groups of people that is when it becomes political. Not everyone agrees how it it done.

      = + + + =  + + + = =  + = +

      Tuesday AM. As Jan and I climb out of the outdoor swimming pool - she spies it first. The apparatus atop the main motel. It looks like the "5G" we had heard about. The hidden netting that is invading the spaces where we live. I refer to it as Darth Vader. We slept under that? !!!

      Wednesday June 6, Fishkill, NY.  7:40 AM   As I am writing here about rooftop towers  -- I reach for my cocoa cup and it slips away -- spills over the bedside end table, over the clock radio, onto the white wall, onto white pillow on floor, on the motel room carpet.

      The big mess astonished me. As I paused from journaling, and listened, this strong impression filled my mind:  ## The 5G electronic stuff is beyond my control !!! ##      
       Finding a towel I clean up. That spill, it drew my attention to The Topic. Circumstances beyond my regulation.     To rest in You, Jesus.  To seek Your protection. Celebrate Your care, Your power, Your aid.
  I resume writing: So, our friend from Chappaqua, the wife, she shared how easy technology is to use. How she and her husband used their Smart I-phones to locate villages in Missouri -- which helped them locate the village of Carrollton  -- for lodging the night before the Day of the Total Eclipse in August of 2017.

      As I write this entry, suddenly Jan's cellphone blurts out a voice -- she did not intend to hear.   What button caused that ??

             Later on I add to that TOPIC. A road sign in the village of Poughkeepsie, NY features a large number and letter. It stands out to me. I draw it in the journal.

+  =  +   =   +   =  ++   ==   = + = + = +          


making changes -- vermont trip

           At our hotel there was a placard on the wall. It read: "We're making changes." Our trip to Nourish Vermont has had its push back. When Jan faced retiring, going to the country club, to stand up in front of her peers and be recognized for her service, the many years teaching art, and all the previous years doing Parents As Teachers. The applause, the feelings, emotions, and turning in her classroom key to the front desk. It was like a huge weight falling off the shoulders. Bittersweet. Her connection to all the students, memories of hugs and exchanges. "We Are Making Changes." I put that phrase in my journal. 
         Another placard said: "Change is brewing." A coffee ad, for sure. The words jumped out at me. Like a whisper from God. 

       Being miles away from home, wanting to switch hotel contracts, I felt helpless. Weak. The desk manager at the Hilton Express Inn went to bat for us, using her resources to advocate for us, and help switch the contracts for us. It was so awkward, and yet I felt like God was fighting our battle through that stranger in ways that seemed miraculous.

       June 1st -- Friday morning we all gathered in the Coach Barn for the Nourish Vermont conference. Folded chairs ready for people with notebooks and pens. We sat behind a couple from the Finger Lakes region, Renee and John. She was doing geneology on her folks and she shared a website with me to find old newspapers for my own research on Alfred Fowler. 

       The brick arch entrance went up in 1901. High pitched slate roofs. It reminded me of something out of Hogwarts in the Harry Potters movie series. In front was a low stage where speakers would make their presentations. Jan was all into this. I came along, not knowing what would come of this. Days after the two day conference I began to sort out my own memories. The ones that meant something to me.

     Each morning began with a couple who helped attendees leave their external matters behind -- to center -- to make a space within for something new --  to begin afresh. The first morning was about SOUNDS produced by resonating crystal bowls and chanting. I let the modality wash over me and drew in my journal, swirls and doodles that come when I am resting. Inside my inner thoughts settled on the love note I was fashioning for the Lord.

    The next morning opened with a drum. 

     I enjoyed listening to  Jeff Leach, as he talked about the health of stomach biomes in Africa. How tribes perceived to be sicker than the American lifestyle, actually enjoy a richer and more diverse gut bacteria and are far healthier for it.  Nick Pineault, an advocate for personal moderation when it came to exposure to electronic smog.   Jan enjoyed Jack Kruse and Everything.

    There was a lot of science spoken about. Discoveries that had been made at the cellular level. 
    On Sunday, the day after the conference was over, I spent time out in the sunshine -- shoes off my feet -- glasses off my face -- journal across my lap -- reflecting. Here was something that summed the conference up for me:
How those who marvel at the engineering -- they fret -- they stammer -- they are puzzled -- they scratch their heads -- and suggest we must fear and panic and question. 
    That morning in the sunshine, waiting and listening. Contemplating the times I have been helped by the Lord.  The words of encouragement He put in my mind that lifted me. The way He drew my mind into a precious embrace. Soon phrases came, His soothing touch, His calm. ------ I jotted down the fragments that follow here:

            Consider the birds of the air they do not labor -- and your heavenly Father provides food and shelter for them.
           He makes it possible for amoebas without organs
           to sense food
           to move toward it
           to surround it
           and consume it.

           How much more does He think of you and meet your daily needs.

The Zone I was in became an open channel. I wrote what was on my heart, it like a dialouge. An internal back and forth. The words spoke to me as I jotted them down:

          Lord, this morning -- after two days at the conference -- I look to You, Jesus. The science of the complexity in the cell -- machines and motors You created to do protein tasks -- its fragility -- how things can go wrong -- but how You think on it and cause it to work==!!!

           When You command us to: seek Your face, Lord  --  call on Your name  --  to Rejoice in Your Majesty  --  Your ability to order the movements  --  SO TINY  --  SO MARVELOUS  --  SO PRECISE  --  SO PRODUCTIVE.

          to be known by You  --  to be held by You  --  to be led as Your sheep, as Your friends, as Your handiwork  ==  giving You praise   in the midst of sorrow  ==  midst of doubt ==  midst of now.

         air passages   tracheal tubes in ants   bring same oxygen I breathe   to THESE God makes to breathe. so small  =  to eat, to drink, to breathe, to live.

       Your heavenly Father takes care of them. BELIEVE IN ME  ==  for Christ is the visible likeness of the invisible God  / colossians 1: 15    ====    all things are held together by the power of His voice  / hebrews 1:3     ====

The ant drawing the tubes the smallness. Remembering as I drew it down.
Later on, I was doing laundry upstairs.    humming then singing to myself.    and joy drew away the anxious dullness I felt.