spared

      Jesus intervenes to save me. He saves me.
      In 1992 I was driving home from Chillicothe frustrated and depressed. The ad sales I thought I could drum up on a Saturday morning had fallen through. This was when I worked for the local Carrollton Daily Democrat newspaper. I was angry inside. The smoldering anger nearly ended my life in suicide.
      As I drove down highway 65 I tried to push the thoughts out of my mind. I prayed for Bible verses. Nothing seemed to help. When I drove down the off ramp at the Carrollton exit I was in a depressed stupor. I entertained how easy it would be to drive past the stop sign in the the ditch and end my life.
     Jesus intervened and stopped me.
     The Spirit led me to a nameless friend and after our talk my day brightened up a lot.
     As I remember that smoldering anger and where I was I wondered: how does someone who does not know Jesus make it through the day??
    Without Jesus there helping me - guiding me to friend - or getting help, I would have been dead by now. Being a Christian and thinking of suicide is a possibility.
    Oh Jesus. I thank You for Your intervention. You save me. I praise You. You are worthy of all praise. You preserved my life. You direct my steps. You love and care for me. Jesus. Thank You, Jesus.

Prayer journal entry, 1992
Carrollton, MO
Karl Marxhausen

steel rod

      Jesus helped me pull a steel rod of tension out of my wife's foot.
      It was late on a weekday night. When either one of us needs prayer we pray for each other. Together we invited the Holy Ghost to reveal to us how to pray and what to pray for. We asked for pictures or words that would help us to pray accurately.
      My wife felt tension up and down her left leg. It hurt a lot. As she sat on the recliner in our living room we prayed and waited on Jesus.
      After some time Jesus gave me a mental picture of a steel rod. She and I talked about that. It was like there was this steel rod running from her hip down to her foot.
      Jesus led me to pull on a steel rod I could not see and slowly pul it out from the heel of her foot. My wife said she could feel it go down her leg and out her foot.
      Jesus had given me the picture. He helped me to believe it and act on it. Neither one of us could explain the physical sensations she had experienced.
      The tension was completely gone. Her leg did not hurt anymore. The tension left because Jesus had pulled it out.

      Marvelous are Your works, Jesus. Blessed in Your Name. Thank You for showing us how to pray.
      You are able.
       You are present.
       You heal our wounds.
      You are marvelous.
       You are mighty.
       You are able, Jesus.
        You are able.

prayer journal entry, 1996
Carrollton, Missouri
Karl Marxhausen

what it is

      In 1986, this was a graphic I did for myself to remember what the Holy Spirit was doing in me.

Here is a metal graphic. The names of Reinhold Pieper Marxhausen and members of his family Karl Marxhausen and Paul Marxhausen and Dorris Marxhausen - were stamped into metal plates - and welded together with the names of other citizens. A large orb of humanity. ABOVE.BELOW

Here is a ceramic graphic in the shape of a manger. The etched words on it read: "And for our salvation came down from heaven was incarnate by the Holy Ghost of the virgin Mary and was made man."

    In 1966 the artist made these graphics to remember what the Holy Spirit was doing in Reinhold's life.

    To recall who it was that became mortal like Reinhold.

    To declare what the Holy Spirit declares about Jesus - He is real and resurrected from the dead, and draws men and women, boys and girls, to himself.

    To proclaim that Reinhold has called on him and received Jesus as his Savior for the forgiveness of sins.

    To celebrate this living Life Changer, who defeats my grudges, my hatred, my blame, my poison, my hurt against others.

    To sing aloud that He loves me because He wants to.

    To become a lover of Jesus.

    Lovers are being revealed....

iceberg

       The part of me "that I know about" sticks up just above the water like the small tip of an iceberg. Below the surface, the "greater part of me" is  like a huge submerged iceberg.

       The one that knows me inside and out began to open my mind and my heart, to wonder, to ponder, to ask for help, to seek forgiveness. In 1986 -- The Spirit led me to meet with the pastor and together God made a way. I was thirty years old when I began to deal with resentments and buried feelings. Feelings I had been told to suppress. Feelings I had been asked to suck up and not feel. A poison that colored how I interacted with those around me.
       
       The Spirit of God is a gentleman. He is not a bully. He will not badger you or defeat you. He does not come to stomp on you or pull you to the ground. But he does seek your hand and make advances. When you are ready, he comes along side and gives you the courage to ask for his aid. He waits for an open heart, he listens for a soft spoken "yes," a whisper of consent. He acts when we give him our permission. For me, logic and reason have kept him at an arm's length. I thought I knew how he worked. Let me tell you, there is so much more. More than my Lutheran teachers told me while I was growing up. 

      During the counseling session the Holy Spirit revealed hurt feelings I had bottled up. Anger at being controlled by mom. Verbal slights. Like I couldn't come up with the answer myself, how I had to do things her way. Anger at high expectations from my dad. If I did art he could love me.  It was my reactions, my choice to stuff down the resentment, my choosing to remember and hold the grudge, blaming dad and mom -- instead of forgiving them. This believer in Jesus had lots of anger at God as well.

     Pastor Al had seen the wonders of Jesus in his own life firsthand. Al led me to Jesus in prayer. The Holy Spirit gave me the courage to forgive my dad first. In a later meeting, forgiving my mom. And still later, forgiving myself. Pastor Al said the prayer. But Jesus restored my life.