rattled

 

Rigid fury.

Held against my will.

Computer hostage.

My wife told me to disengage. Walk away. 

Sitting on the wooden bench. Brain buzzing stuck. So upset.

I ended up standing beside the pond, staring down at my bare feet in the grass.

It was just then ----- my cell phone came alive ---- and a voice reached out to help untangle my emotions.

A friend who was led to call me. A little bird told me, he said. 

Like an angel. Like divine providence. Like a glass of cold beverage. Like a companion. Familiar and patient.

In due course we were telling each other corny jokes and laffing. It was salvation. The rigid clamp gave way to freedom. I ended up in our front yard, seated on the sun bench, birds chirping, clover between my toes, a grin on my silly face. So sweet.         

restoration comes when I hold my cat Pookie. Fur against my finger tips.        

Laying still on deck cushions, sun light 

Recall the rescue.

When I was carried

being low

being weak

still loved

exhausted 

anytime rest comes

sleep

recovery

lingering

drifting 

mindful

yes

gushing out

in the day of assistance i recall these moments:

my friend was diligently searching  

i was there when he finally found the needed document.

he drove us back to the agency. the process for his assistance was set in motion.

it was beside his car that i noticed this scene. there were noisy motors pumping dirty water from a trench cut through a main street in the center of downtown Carrollton. men bent over engaged in this work. 

it dawned on me i was seeing the physical action of assistance for my friend. a visual scene of hope, of engagement, of a deep problem being solved. 

"LOOK. this is a picture of what work God is doing for you right now," i told my friend.

lots of light uncovering dark dealings.

a problem is being UNCOVERED in BROAD DAYLIGHT.

across the courthouse lawn, on the far side, a tall yellow ladder ran up from the sidewalk to the roof of a brick building. i told my friend "people are working on the roof. what might that mean?"

"jacob's ladder. angels going up and down," i added.

"IN THE MYSTIC REALM," he mused.

"i think God is working above in the heavenlies. On earth as it is in heaven. things we cannot see. being done for you!!!" the metal sculpture on the courthouse lawn was whirling round. its spinning parts added to these moments. 

just off the downtown square fire hydrants were gushing onto the street.

i teared up. what a visual!!! 

the recurring picture that comes to me.  Jesus is a fountain springing up, over flowing, ready and eager to give.

this hydrant was at first and main streets. it was a yelo hydrant.

one more memory: my friend and i had gone out to lunch. from the mix of people present to eat, an unexpected believer came up to me and began to talk. And what he spoke tied directly into this day of assistance.

 

words of assurance calm the listener over the cell phone.

in the hands of god. 

as a foot note: 

the following day the work downtown was complete. no road blocks. no one working. no hydrants flushing. i rubbed my eyes. i just happened to be there when all the commotion was going on. and my friend had seen it too. 

wow. just for us to see. thanks.

five gee -- vermont trip

Lake Champlain, charcoal, 7 1/2 x 10 inches, by artist. June 2, 2018. 
Double click to enlarge.

Rock Face on Lake Champlain, 7 1/2 x 10 inches, graphite and watercolor pencils, by artist.
Double click to enlarge.
 
        The Nourish Vermont experience took some processing. Six days later Jan and I had gone through the states of Massachusetts and Connecticut. In the village of Mount Kisco, New York we chatted at a diner with the Total Eclipse couple we met at the Carrollton City Pool, the ones from Chappaqua. The husband told me about motor boats.  Later that day, Jan and I drove along the Hudson River to the village of Fishkill, New York. 
That morning as I looked back and wrote down what I had learned, a mess happened and made me stop  -  and think.

       Issue of motor boats: The husband told me story of the man-made lakes at Quabbin Reservoir (south of Orange, Massachusetts) People in charge decided to flood the region to create the large lake. That meant the former towns were at the bottom of the huge lake. Then the people in charge said you could not use your own boat on the water. You had to rent one. You had to rent one of their boats. A boat with an outboard motor on it. The husband complained about that decision, because the motor boat would pollute the lake water that others drank from. The reservoir provided the drinking water for the towns. In his estimation it made no sense to spoil the drinking water that everyone used. 

 
      One concern raised at the Nourish conference was the increase of radiation coming into neighborhoods. Metal boxes are showing up in neighborhoods to boost electronic signals. Apparatus in clusters on rooftops. Cellphones next to our heads exposes us to radiation. Cars with the latest technology become "hot spots." Too much exposure is a poison. Brain functions are affected. It messes with our thinking process. You can lose your focus, feel dizzy or dazed, tired all the time, have a hard time sleeping. The concern rises with children and adults who are plugged in every minute of the day. There are sicknesses the doctors flat out disregard.  First it was 3G (third generation technology), now some cities are introducing 5G. Cell towers are closer together and to what end? Where is public safety? Where is the testing on humans concerning this malaise? Why should an industry be able to make decisions for cities that affect everybody?

     Personal choices can limit your exposure. 
= My wife and I already shut off the breaker switch to our bedroom each night to limit the signals coming in. 
= We set our cellphones on "Flight Mode" before we go to sleep or when we are not using them. 
= Talking over the speakerphone moves the source away from your head and your brain. 
= We shut off the Blu-Tooth mode in our car. 
= Some people answer texts at the end of the day. 
= Some limit cell phone usage to nine minutes a day.
= You can unplug your Wi-Fi router when not in use. Unplug your computer.
Signals keep coming in to your house until you shut it off.   
I learned this from the presenter Nick Pineault of Montreal Canada

     Nourish Vermont speakers raised other public health warnings, such as the chemicals some farms used on their crops. Again, the practice of one group affects the health of the many. If I do something for myself that is one thing. If I do something that affects groups of people that is when it becomes political. Not everyone agrees how it it done.

      = + + + =  + + + = =  + = +

      Tuesday AM. As Jan and I climb out of the outdoor swimming pool - she spies it first. The apparatus atop the main motel. It looks like the "5G" we had heard about. The hidden netting that is invading the spaces where we live. I refer to it as Darth Vader. We slept under that? !!!

      Wednesday June 6, Fishkill, NY.  7:40 AM   As I am writing here about rooftop towers  -- I reach for my cocoa cup and it slips away -- spills over the bedside end table, over the clock radio, onto the white wall, onto white pillow on floor, on the motel room carpet.

      The big mess astonished me. As I paused from journaling, and listened, this strong impression filled my mind:  ## The 5G electronic stuff is beyond my control !!! ##      
       
       Finding a towel I clean up. That spill, it drew my attention to The Topic. Circumstances beyond my regulation.     To rest in You, Jesus.  To seek Your protection. Celebrate Your care, Your power, Your aid.
    
  I resume writing: So, our friend from Chappaqua, the wife, she shared how easy technology is to use. How she and her husband used their Smart I-phones to locate villages in Missouri -- which helped them locate the village of Carrollton  -- for lodging the night before the Day of the Total Eclipse in August of 2017.

      As I write this entry, suddenly Jan's cellphone blurts out a voice -- she did not intend to hear.   What button caused that ??

             Later on I add to that TOPIC. A road sign in the village of Poughkeepsie, NY features a large number and letter. It stands out to me. I draw it in the journal.
            9G   

+  =  +   =   +   =  ++   ==   = + = + = +          


        

ashtabula -- vermont trip

     

        Free hand sketch of Jan and Karl from reference photo on cell phone.

       My wife and I like to walk in water, whether it is at the Carrollton city pool outdoors, the Lifestyle Fitness Center indoor pool, and today in Lake Erie at Walnut Beach in Ashtabula, Ohio. This trip is about the future. Jan retired from teaching art at CES in Carrollton, Missouri. Going to Vermont is an abstraction. Retirement is like Vermont, an unknowable future. How will Jan transition into retirement? What routine will she adopt as her own? Me, I've been doing this since 2016. So -- traveling to Burlington, Vermont for a two day speaker packed conference  -- it is a peek into what we are going to be -- as a couple retired. Now traveling. And then after the conference -- what then???

     
Sketch from cellphone. I asked a local about Walnut Beach. He told me the swimming season usually starts later in June, when the weather gets warm enough. The water is cold. He said it was unseasonably warm.  This is a good thing for Jan and I WANT to be in the water on our trip up. So, today, we walked out from the hot sand into the cool lake waters.

       We walked along the roped perimeter of the swimming area. Jan spied a buoy bobbing. Other swimmers swam beyond the safe zone to the buoy and swam back. Jan wanted to. I had mixed feelings. Soon I realized it was safe for Jan, since her body mass keeps her afloat. She swam. Reach it. Rested. And swam back to me. We're approximating it was 75 feet out. Just a guess. She is a fish. She loves to swim.

      As we walked out, we held hands, and steadied each other to stay upright. Our feet sunk through the sand and small pebbles, with each step. Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Awkward.
Together, side by side. A mental picture of support.   This entry added for Monday, May 28.
     The next day we skipped Niagara Falls and crossed the lower portion of New York state, through Jonestown, Olean, visited Jan's life coach in Ithica, New York, and stayed over in Geneva, near the Finger Lakes.

     It was our hope to stop at some point and draw. Do some art for ourselves. That came on Thursday morning.

c - r

in this place of waiting
i look to you
for what you are about to bring me into

nerves on end   settle in the dust
      when you capture my attention

tuck me in your pocket
draw my whisper close
found in you, let me be found in you


your excitement fills my being

in a realm i cannot see
your voice takes my hand and calls me your bride

you keep bringing the words
every time
ask

moments of joy exuberance
days slowed down, all energy spent,
in this place of waiting
one thing sings gently behind my eyes
                                    behind my senses
                                    behind my intellect
                                    and desire:
what he starts in me he will finish

27 x 32 1/2 inches, marker on paper

C - R

February 20, 2017